


Looking for What's Not There

by OswinTheStrange



Series: Mary Does Not Approve [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Banter, F/F, Winchester!Reader - Freeform, mentions of abuse, overly concerned parenting, referenced sexual content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-09-14 07:36:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16908861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OswinTheStrange/pseuds/OswinTheStrange
Summary: Winchester!Reader spends the day with her family, but a few things make Mary worry her daughter is being abused by RowenaSet after Hollow Apologies and sometime after S13





	Looking for What's Not There

In hindsight, having a night of rough sex the night before you were meant to see your family hadn’t been the best idea. Originally you’d planned to go in soft, keeping things gentle, but with your bullet wound deemed completely healed your passion had gotten the better of both you and Rowena, leading to you looking like you’d been in a fight with a monster rather than a night in with your girlfriend.

 

Your second mistake was waking up late and forgetting to do your makeup. Well, technically you’d woken up on time. You’d just chosen to say cuddled up with Rowena and had fallen back asleep. Things only got more difficult when you woke up a second time and Rowena had you wrapped tightly in her grip, refusing to let you go. It had been nearly impossible to escape from her grasp while making sure she stayed asleep, you’d never heard the end about it if you woke her up, but somehow you’d manage it.

 

Once you were dressed you were rushing out the door, realizing you were almost two hours late already and had missed several calls from your brothers and Mary. You sent a quick text to let them know you were on your way and hopped in your car, turning on the engine and tearing out of the parking lot.

 

Another hour passed before you were pulling up to the bunker, your phone dinging as a text came in.

 

_You left without telling me,_ Rowena had sent.

 

You rolled your eyes. _If I had, you would’ve been all grumpy that I woke you. And as adorable as grumpy you is, I was running late,_ you replied.

 

You got out from the car, your phone remaining silent. Maybe she’d texted you only half-awake and then gone back to sleep. It wouldn’t be the first time. Chuckling to yourself at the idea of a bleary-eyed Rowena grumpily texting you, maybe even pouting, before letting her head fall back onto her pillow like nothing happened, you entered the bunker. You winced as it loudly squeaked. Someone really should oil that thing.

 

“Well, look who it is!” Dean teased as you descended the stairs. “If it ain’t sleeping beauty!” He, Sam, and Mary were sitting in the War Room, evidently waiting for you.

 

“For your information, Rowena was being a bit… stubborn about letting me go this morning. And I actually _did_ sleep in late,” you said. “Something you guys should try once in a while.”

 

“Nah, I’m good with my four hours,” Dean shrugged.

 

“Well, you certainly look it!”

 

“Hey!”

 

“Behave, you two,” Mary said, watching your banter with amusement.

 

You ignored her, instead turning to Sam. “What’s up, Gigantor?”

 

“Hey, Y/N. How’s your shoulder?” he asked.

 

You glanced at Mary, seeing her guiltily look away. A part of you watched her smugly, saying she’d _better_ feel guilty. “All better,” you said. “There’s barely even a scar.”

 

“Speaking of scars, what happened to you?” Sam asked.

 

You held back a wince. Did you really look that bad? You hadn’t bothered looking into a mirror this morning, so you could’ve looked like a nightmare for all you knew.

 

“Yeah, you get into a fight?” Dean added.

 

Images popped into your head, wrestling with Rowena for control, fighting her and getting slapped for insubordination until you’d decided to give in. “Uh, yeah,” you lied. “You should see the other person.” You mentally scoffed. Rowena had more or less looked absolutely fine when you saw her this morning. “You guys mind if I use the bathroom real fast before we do anything else? I was in a rush this morning.”

 

“Go ahead,” Dean waved you away.

 

You turned to leave, seeing Mary watching you suspiciously, but you ignored her again. Walking out into the hall, you sighed. You’d have to talk to her eventually. But for now you needed to see how bad you were, so you went into the closest bathroom and checked yourself in the mirror. “No wonder they were concerned,” you muttered.

 

Your neck had multiple bruises and one side of your face, where Rowena had slapped you, had a light welt. Inspecting yourself for more injuries you saw bruises around you wrists and a few scratches on your arm. You held back a whistle at the damage she’d done. Slipping your phone from your pocket, you sent Rowena a text. _You gave me a bunch of marks and bruises last night. Now my family’s seen them. Thanks for that_.

 

You glanced back in the mirror. There was nothing you could do now to make any of it look better. Not that you could’ve done anything, anyway, without drawing suspicion. At least your lifestyle meant bruises were fairly common, so there was nothing to be suspicious about. You really had no interest in sharing the details of your sex life with your family.

 

Taking one last look, you left the bathroom and made your way back to the War Room. “So, what’s new?” you asked.

 

“Not much,” Sam said. “All our new hunters are out—”

 

“Finally,” Dean muttered.

 

“—Cas took Jack on a small hunt, for training. Everything’s been pretty calm.”

 

“Which means shit’s probably about to hit the fan, right?” you asked, taking a seat at the table.

 

Sam smiled wryly. “Probably.”

 

“We’re just sort of enjoying the quiet,” Mary said. “How are you?”

 

“Fine,” you said. “You know, healing up. Getting into more fights. Mostly just relaxing with Rowena.”

 

“Actually, how _did_ you get into a fight?” Dean asked. “I thought Rowena had you under lock and key.”

 

You rolled your eyes. “She didn’t have me under lock and key, she was just… being a mother hen.” You received incredulous looks from all three of them. “What? It’s true. Just because she doesn’t show that side around you doesn’t mean she doesn’t have it. And besides, she doesn’t control all my life.”

 

Just as you said that, your phone dinged. Speak of the devil, you thought. You glanced at your phone. _Did I? Send pictures ;)_ , she’d sent. You fought back a simultaneous smirk and eye roll.

 

_Flirt_ , you sent back.

 

“Let me guess: Rowena?” Sam said, looking completely unsurprised.

 

“Yup. I’m guessing the queen of beauty sleep finally woke up,” you said.

 

“She’s just waking up?” Dean exclaimed, wide-eyed. “Who the hell sleeps in ‘till almost noon?”

 

You shrugged. “She likes her sleep. Plus, we stayed up late last night. I guess we’re both night owls.”

 

Dean raised an eyebrow, giving an unconvincing, “Uh huh.” You fought back a blush, knowing what his thoughts most likely were at the moment.

 

Your phone dinged again. _I’ve got a few marks, too. I’ll show you mine if you show me yours ;)_

 

_I’m with my family! And remind me to teach you how to use actual emojis._

 

“Is something wrong?” Mary asked.

 

You put your phone away. “No. Why?”

 

“Nothing, just the way you looked at your phone,” she said.

 

“Rowena’s just being Rowena,” you shrugged. “I can handle her.”

 

Dean barely held back a snort of laughter.

 

“What?” you glared.

 

“Nothing, just… hard to imagine anyone _handling_ Rowena, ya know? She always struck me as impossible to handle. High maintenance, demanding, picky, that sort of thing. Which she is. But actually dating her has to mean it’s so much worse,” he explained.

 

You couldn’t deny, she definitely fit how Dean described her. Especially how she was when she’d first come into your life. But she’d changed so much since and there was so much more to her. But try explaining that to Dean or the rest of your family. “She can be,” you said. “And she’d probably give me a death glare for saying that she’s someone to be handled, but it’s not all bad. She’s worth it.”

 

“I’ll take your word for it,” Dean said.

 

From there the conversation managed to steer away from the topic of Rowena. She kept texting you and you’d reply, but aside from that you were involved in what was going on. You spoke mostly to Sam and Dean, still not thrilled with Mary for trying to shoot your girlfriend. Mary seemed to respect that, not trying to engage you too much, but often sending odd looks your way. It was like the wheels in her mind were spinning, going faster each time she eyed your bruises or you replied to a text from Rowena. Had Sam and Dean not been there, you would have asked what her problem was.

 

Before you knew it, hours had passed. You all moved to the kitchen to have lunch and sat there talking for another few hours. It was nearly four o’clock by the time you were saying your goodbyes to everyone, promising another day like this soon (barring any world-ending level events happening), and walking out.

 

You had barely made it to the stairs when a voice stopped you. “Can we talk a minute?”

 

Mary was standing a few feet behind you, hands in her pockets and and head lowered. You saw her eyes moving between your bruises and scratches.

 

“Um, okay,” you said. “What about?”

 

“I was just…” she started. She stopped, took a breath, and tried again like she was searching for the right words. “How are things with you and… _her_? Rowena, I mean.”

 

You bristled at her tone, Mary’s disdain for Rowena obvious. But she was asking, so maybe she was trying to be nice about it, to get used to it. “Things are good,” you answered, leaning on the railing.

 

“Are you sure?” Mary asked. “I mean, you’re not just saying that?”

 

“Why would I be?”

 

“Well, today you… I…” she sighed. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

 

_Bullshit_ , you thought. _Don’t start trying to give me a mom talk now after everything_. But you didn’t want to start an argument, so you forced a smile. “Sure.”

 

“Or the boys?”

 

“What’s all this about?” you asked. “You’re being kinda weird.”

 

She took another breath and squared her shoulders. “Is Rowena hurting you?”

 

“Hurting me?” The cogs in your brain began to whirl as your mind started catching up with what Mary was saying.

 

“Is she abusing you? I know situations like that are tough, but if she is you can tell us. We can help you,” Mary said. She took a step forward, looking at you with complete sincerity.

 

Holy hell, she really did believe it, didn’t she? “Rowena’s not abusing me!” you exclaimed. “She wouldn’t lay a finger on me!”

 

“Really?” Mary raised an eyebrow. “Because I’m not buying you got those bruises in a fight!”

 

“Alright, fine! But they’re not what you’re thinking,” you muttered, a faint blush rising.

 

“Why? Because they’re from her?”

 

“Why do you think she’s abusing me?” You tried turning the conversation. Discussing your sex life with your mother, no matter how distant you were from each other, wasn’t something you wanted to do.

 

“Those bruises, for one!” Mary exclaimed, motioning towards you. “Then the constant texts and how you reply immediately. Some of the things you said about her, like how she wouldn’t let you leave this morning and your constant defense of her—”

 

“Have nothing to do with abuse!” you growled. “I reply to her texts because I like talking with her. And it’s not like it interrupted anything or caused a problem. Whatever I said about her, you must’ve taken the wrong way. Like how I never said she wouldn’t let me leave, I said she was being stubborn about it. Wanna know why? Because she was asleep and had her arms around me. I didn’t want to wake her. And I defend her because she’s my girlfriend!”

 

“And how do you explain the bruises?”

 

“Do you _really_ want me to talk about mine and Rowena’s sex life?”

 

Mary’s eyes widened and her face grew red. “Oh.” Her voice had risen several pitches, the sound escaping her more like a surprised squeak than an sign of realization.

 

“Yeah. So as you can see, she’s not abusing me,” you said. “And I’d appreciate if you stopped insinuating such things about her. I can’t even imagine how differently this would be going if she were here, so I’d also appreciate you not saying anything like that to her, either. Neither of us need that.”

 

“I was just concerned—” Mary tried.

 

“I know,” you snapped, trying and failing to calm down. “I just… please don’t ever say that. I know you and Rowena don’t like each other, but accusations like that, that she’d hurt me, are ridiculous.” Your phone dinged from your pocket, signaling another text from Rowena. “I have to go. I’ll talk to you and the boys later.”

 

Without letting Mary say another word, you stormed up the stairs and out the door. The air was frigid, the early darkness of winter already starting to paint the world black. As much as you hated winter, the cold and the dark were actually calming. Your blood was still boiling, hands shaking as your mind replayed Mary’s accusation. You took a deep breath, the icey air hurting your throat and lungs but gave you the feeling that your brain was cooling down, too.

 

_She was just concerned_ , you told herself. _Anyone else probably would have been, whether they were fine with Rowena or not. It could have just as easily been one of the boys_. Except it couldn’t have. Sam and Dean may not have been Rowena’s besties, but they trusted her. They knew she wouldn’t hurt you and they knew you could take care of yourself. They may have had overprotective brother moments in the past, but they wouldn’t baselessly accuse Rowena of abuse. Mary’s concern may have been genuine, but her words proved she knew nothing of you or Rowena and that she would never get used to her. She was looking for something that wasn’t there so she’d have a reason to justify her hatred of Rowena.

 

Your phone dinger as another text came in, distracting you from your thoughts.

 

_Are you having dinner there? Or shall I wait for you?_ she’d sent.

 

_Just leaving now. Won’t be long_ , you replied.

 

You felt your rage cool down, turning from boiling hot to just warm. You still weren’t happy with Mary. Not even close. But now wasn’t the time to be angry. Now was the time to go home to your girlfriend. To have dinner and cuddle while watching a movie or listening to music. To fall asleep in her arms, knowing with her you were safe and loved and so was she.

 

You pushed Mary from your mind, got in your car, and drove off.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my awesome editor, Marrilyn  
> First one in a while. Hope you guys enjoy!


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